Closed Doors

Last week was a roller coaster in our lives. I went from preparing for a long awaited pregnancy because i had recieved a clean bill of health to being told that the only expectation we can have of natural children is IVF. Our son was a miracle when we didn't know we needed one. I am trying hard to hold on to my faith that God can still do a miracle in our life and that he is ultimately in control. Dave and I are open to IVF and/or adoption, but it will be about 3-5 years before we can een tihnk about persuing these options. Financial stability is even more imoprtant and neccesary if we persue these options. Right now I find that I am grieveing all over again. Things are pretty mellow in our home right now, escept for the excitement and challenges that come with having a three year old. I was doing very well before we got this news, but between that and tweeking my meds I have been struggling with depression and anxiety again this week and my insomnia has been pretty bad. With not having to worry about getting pregnant I think I'll just tell the psychiatrist to put me back to the drugs and doses I was att since they were working so well. I know that at anytime all we can do is take life one day at a time, but right now it is moment by moment.